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That was odd...

Finally! An update!

Finally! An update!

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retsnimdecorp
Yeah. Had a conversation with a friend that started as snark and turned into a conversation that takes place in the Lexicon game I'm participating in. I then edited it to be more in line with the universe, and realised that it would be perfect to post as an update. So, here you go.


A
Yarr!

B
Hey

A
What be the haps, yo?

B
I think I'm about to get food. You?

A
I was about to grab some orange-flavoured nutritive paste. What kind of paste you headed for?

B
Hrm, I was thinking about crack-flavored, but I think I'm gonna go with cheddar cheese.

A
Are you getting the noodle-textured kind?

B
Nah. That's stuff too expensive for me.

A
At least it takes your mind off the fact that you're eating out of a tube, though.

**Records Corrupted**

B
I guess so.

A
Anyway, just cheese-flavoured nutritive paste? No Soylent-Brand cracker-shaped food substitute?

B
Just the cheese.

A
Man, the Future sucks...

B
Yeah, it really does.
It sucks a little less, after we destroyed all those robots trying to enslave us. But not much less.
Now we have Hitler II running around.
Gaddamn him and his super powered, laser shooting mustache.

A
Just wear your mirror suit, and you should be fine. Might get hot and uncomfortable, but so what?
'sbetter than being dead.

B
I dunno...
It does blind all my friends and loved ones.

A
You say that like it's a bad thing.

B
And everytime it breaks, huge shards of glass get lodged in my body.
Which is an inconvenience.

A
Giant shards of silvered glass embedding themselves into flesh builds character.

B
At least modern medicine lived up to future expectations.
Otherwise, I would have died at least 6000 times.

A
I know, right? I mean, titanium replacement bones? Sheer genius, if you ask me.
...
I'm kind of uncomfortable about the nanite replacement for blood, though.

B
Eh, it feels kind of chunky at times, but I've learned to deal.

A
I don't know, man. Sure, it's destroyed any blood-borne diseases that used to exist, but have you heard some of the viruses that these things are susceptible to?

B
Nope.
Other than ultra herpes.

A
Nah, I'm talking about the computer viruses.

B
Well, I've got Norton Anti-virus and it's all up to date.
So I don't really have to worry about it.
And I'm not a trendy douche with mac-nanites.
Once hackers start figuring out those buggers are getting more popular and have next to no protection, all those people. Dead.
...
And I'll be back in a bit, gonna grab something to eat.

A
I'm experimenting with some open-source anti-virals on some lab animals before I start using them on myself. I've just heard so many things about the Norton package and the implantations you need to make it work properly.

B is Away

B
Back.

A
Did you have a filling meal?

B
Sure.

A
That's good.

B
I mean, that isn't the point of meals these days though.

A
I know, it's all about obtaining the minimum nutritional requirement and nothing more.

B
I snuck a little bread paste though too.

A
Way to break the law!

B
Shhhh.
You can't tell.

A
Ah, you've got worse dirt on me, so it's not like I would even chance it.

B
Hrm, that's good.

A
At least not while the Inquisitor-General is on his warpath about unlicensed genetic recombination.

B
Yeah, he's such a douche.

A
I'm not certain what the Immortal Six were thinking when they appointed him.

B
Maybe we should stab them?

A
You go ahead, I enjoy living.

B
We can get away with it somehow?
And I mean, Lethal did get that security job at their building.
So...we have a man on the inside kind of.

A
How would you suggest destroying a cybernetic monstrosity built to destroy all that oppose the Immortals?

**Records Corrupted**

A
Yeah, Laneth said. He also claims that Kangaroo are stalking him.

B
Dude...they are. I saw them.

A
COME ON! You can't seriously believe that!
He's feeding them, that's why they're all around his house.

B
I guess so.
One of them did punch me right in the nose once.
I would about to kick it's ass, you showed up at that point though.

A
Weren't you incredibly drunk off of Laneth's moonshine?

B
Um...I'm gonna say no. Just because.

A
In case the I-G spots it, right?

B
Yeah.
Something like that.

**Record Ends**
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