If you value retaining any shred of sanity and faith in God, I advise you to not ask questions about it.
Aaand you keep talking. Of course you do. It's human nature to ask 'why?', isn't it? Dammit. I'm letting you- please stop t- I'm trying to te- SHUT UP!
You're quiet. Finally. Right, let me tell you now that if I explain to you exactly what is going on, you are then on your own. I am not going to bring you with me when I go, and I am sure as hell not going to care what happens to you. Do you understand me? No, don't talk, just nod. Good. I like this system, it's much quieter.
Okay. You seem much calmer. Now, I'm going to ask you again, do you really want to know what happened? Okay, now, how much do you want to know? No! No, just nod or shake your head, no talking. Alright, do you want to know why your elderly neighbor went off her rocker? Fair enough. Do you want that explanation to maintain your fragile worldview? Are you sure? No, I mean really sure. I take it that it's because of the way I took her down, huh? Fuck. I knew I should have led her into the woods...
Don't look at me with those eyes! I did what I had to. Yes, it seemed needlessly excessive. Yes, the fire was necessary, No, people don't ordinarily keep moving when you get an axe into their skull. Same deal with all of those bugs pouring out of her body. Not normal. At least, not yet, and I pray that it never will be. Okay. Did I mention how much I like this whole system of you not talking? It's amazing. Let's keep that up, shall we?
Okay. Your neighbor was a Zombie. Not like you see in the movies, since we all know that's bullshit. But she was one, for lack of a better word. Have you ever taken a biology course? Right, so remember ever reading about some guy named Galvani who made dead things move by applying electricity? Yeah, same basic idea, but with a bunch of parasites. A colony of them, to be precise. Kind of like a puppet-slash-ant-farm made of people.
Scary, huh? The worst part is that they don't control you through your brain. No, they nest in your spinal cord, and control you from there. That's why she didn't stop moving when I removed her head. Yes, I knew that wasn't going to stop her, I just did it to make her more manageable chunk-wise. Even pieces means even burning, you know? Speaking of which, that's supremely important to remember.
In fact, take a good long look at that pile. You're going to need to learn how to do that same thing if you're going to survive very long. See how I cleared an area around it to prevent the fire from spreading? I also doused her in gasoline to make it burn faster. Unfortunately some of those bugs can crawl pretty quick, so I know I didn't get all of them. And if you look real close, you can see some that are still alive.
Go ahead, get a closer look. Just watch your step, make sure nothing crawls into that nasty bite wound. She really had sharp dentures, didn't she? Alright, pay careful attention to the torso. See all those white things burning? That's the larvae. And if you look carefully into the eyes, you might see the King crawling out. See! Right there! Look closer...
Sorry, whoever you were. I couldn't let another one of you terrorise the rest of us. At least you were learning right up until you died, though. Not everyone can say as much. If only you hadn't gone and done a fool thing like getting bit. Hell, you might have ended up like Pip, the Danish bastard. Ah, well.
Hooray for storytime? That's all I got for tonight folks. Sleep well, everyone, and stay safe out there.