May 23rd, 2005


Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!

Alright, I was browsing through the archives of Loserz, when I noticed a few comics that F**KING PARALLEL MY LIFE. I'm serious. It was eerie stumbling across them...
Here they are.

Sister and her boyfriend
I swear this is word for word her complaint and reasoning.

Why I am the last to know everything
Well, maybe no bananas, but it gets the point across.

How I felt after knocking back a half dozen espresso at a coffee shop
Well, I don't hang from the ceiling, but I get strange synaptic misfirings.

Why I stopped watching television
Yeah, I haven't *really* just sat in front of a television and *watched* unless I have run out of books, or have nothing else non-brain-rotting to do. So, It's been about a year now. I mean, I go over to my Dad's house, and I watch the Daily Show, but beyond that, the TV stays off. You know, It's gotten kind of creepy, at my Mom's house. I have a TV, and a PS2 hooked up to it, and I haven't touched either one of them for so long that there is a layer of dust on them. Now, for normal people, that means a good month of undisturbed rest. At my Mom's place, Chuck keeps everything so scary clean that it takes at least four months to get any appreciable amount of dust on anything.

Oy! Fifteen minutes til 0100.

Right in the Bojangles!

Oy. Went to the mall today, in hopes of a job for that pesky eight-hour requirement, and got a lesson about the fate of books instead.
But first, the job search.

I checked the Nutcracker Sweets kiosk to see if they were hiring. They had a sign stating they were. They had a big neon sign claiming that they were open. They also had a complete lack of any people behind the counter, so I waited a good ten minutes. Still no employees show up. I decided that waiting around a completely empty kiosk for ten minutes was stupid, and left. So, no free candies for Nick.

Next up was Radio Shack. No need for anybody there, and besides, they pay on commission. I am not a good salesman.

My last hope was an arcade called Pocket Change, seein' as how my brother is a Manager there, and found out about the anti-nepotism policy there. Gorrammit.

So, now that that is out of the way, let me tell you about the feeling of crushing despair I recieved.

I went to Waldenbooks, to check out if they had any new Origami books, and wound up wandering into the Skiffy section. Being a fanboy, I looked for Heinlein.

Four books. Four books. That is all they had. Four books.
They had:
Beyond this Horizon
For Us, the Living
Farnham's Freehold
Stranger in a Strange Land

I went back to Pocket Change to report this to my brother, and he just looked at me and said, "...and?"
He then proceeded to tell me that Heinlein isn't popular anymore, and that I shouldn't be surprised.
To prove his point, he asked the guy playing chess against him if he had heard of Heinlein.

Chess Guy: Who?
Brother: Alright, how 'bout Ray Bradbury?
CG: Nope.
B: Frank Herbert?
CG: Nuh-uh.
B: Rudyard Kipling?
CG: Nooooo...
Me: *quietly sobbing*
B: C.S. Lewis?
CG: Is that a band?
Me: *pounds head against wall*
B: Edgar Rice Burroughs?
CG: Dude, is your brother okay?
B: Michail Crichton?
CG: Nope.
B: Alright. 'Sha Ne Ne'[character from the TV show 'Martin']
CG: Yeah. I know about Shanene.
B: *turns to me* Now do you believe me?
Me: I'm... just gonna go home and cry now...

So, yeah. Definitely a painful day there. My only hope for happiness is my date with Stacie tonight.