January 10th, 2006

retsnimdecorp

Yay! Writer's block temporarily defeated! Boo! I need sleep!

I'm fairly certain that I'm going insane. I mean, I'm already crazy, in that way where everyone has a strange quirk, but this is different. I think I'm crossing the threshold that seperates the run-of-the-mill neurotic types from the people in straitjackets. The kind of insane that makes headlines in the local newspaper. The kind of insane that makes psychologists kill for a chance to do a case study on.

I'm crazy, no doubt about it. I've been on one medication or another for the majority of my life. Mood stabilisers, aggression inhibitors, anti-depressants. You name a drug that stops the insanity, I've been on it. But they aren't working anymore. Not even in doses that should have killed me long ago. Nothing is effectively combating whatever is wrong with my head.

If 'more drugs' is not the answer, maybe shoving me into an insane asylum is. Maybe I can overcome whatever synaptic misfires are affecting me. Maybe I can learn what is the root of this insanity that I suffer from. Maybe the people there can help. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. It won't help. I know it won't. The only thing that can help me now is sleep.