Eddie (edminster) wrote,
Eddie
edminster

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The Pentathlon of Despair


I wasn't shot, stabbed, or set ablaze, so it was a good day.

Despite the craptacular suckliciousness of the events that permeated it, it was a good day.

First Event: The Flood

Ordinarily, I love the rain. However, I only love it when I am not experiencing a torrential downpour indoors. Especially when there are so many leaks you run out of buckets to hold the water in. Much of my day was spent in mopping up around where the drips were splashing out of all the containers. I mean, seriously, there was a lot of water.

Second Event: The Destitute

It's no secret that my store is crap at adding people to Payroll. So, when one of the newer cashiers asks for his (as yet nonexistant) paycheck, I had to tell him it wasn't in yet. Now, this would be the point where the new guy says, 'Okay, I understand,' except in this situation, 'new' means 'hired a couple of months back.' And yes, still no paycheck. So, I had to call my supervisor and have him approve a temporary loan for the cashier. What with the mopping up and other events (which are yet to be shared), this takes me a good four hours to do.

Third Event: The Transformation

There is a new cashier, whom I will refrain from naming, is a prick. When I was still a cashier, I got along with him. Sure, he had a slightly overbearing demeanor, but it's not like he was actively attempting to kill me. Now that I am a manager, though, all of that has changed. What was once a slightly overbearing demeanor has turned into outright rudeness, and the non-homicidal tendencies have flat-out disappeared. Plus, he's constantly saying I'm on a power-trip whenever I tell him to actually do his job, rather than let him wander through the store doing nothing. I truly despise him now. Especially since he has taken to deliberately sabotaging his register in order to make me stop whatever it was I had been doing, and get to Customer Service so I could kill the massive line that had formed in the time it took for me to get there.

Fourth Event: The Scavenger Hunt

At my most alert and active, I am slightly absentminded. Put me in a situation wherein I have been scurrying to and fro all day, as well as mopping and running register, and you have an Edminster who misplaces his all-important Manager Keys around a dozen times. A manager needs these keys to do anything of importance in my store. Especially for anything that requires changing prices on the registers. Let me break down the most drawn-out search that happened this evening.

01. Get called over to Register to adjust price due to LUser error.
02. Reach in pocket for keys.
03. Discover keys are not in pocket.
04. Check other seven pockets. (Cargo pants. I have this thing abot needing pockets...)
05. Run to the cash office to check inside for keys.
06. Discover cash office door is locked.
07. Climb through the ceiling to get into the cash office, making good use of Ninja Skillz.
08. Discover keys are not in cash office, and leave.
09. Realise that you did not check inside the Safe in the cash office.
10. Repeat steps 5 thru 7.
11. Check inside Safe.
12. Discover keys are not in Safe.
13. Curse own stupidity.
14. Run to the small animals department, checking the desk for keys.
15. Briefly entertain the thought that the keys were just a figment of the imagination.
16. Glance over to the registers and see line stretching into the aisles.
17. Run towards the registers, hoping for some miracle to find your keys.
18. Slip on keys.
19. Curse God's sense of humour.
20. Use keys, and get yelled at for taking so long.

Fifth Event: The Abdication

One of the small animal department's associates announced that tonight would be his last night. Not the most welcome thing in the world to hear, especially since he is damned good at his job. So, I spent most of the evening fretting, and attempting to adjust the schedule so thar I could get along without him for the next week. This is hampered by the fact that he is working an eleven-hour shift the next day. Around 2030, he tells me that he feels really bad about how much stress this is giving me, and instead changes the sudden leaving into a formal two-week's notice. I thanked him quite profusely, and quit worrying so much. Thank you, Dave, for not giving me ulcers.


And that wraps up the Pentathlon. Now, since I never like to dwell on the negative, here are some good things I learned:

Granny Smith Apples are very tasty when nearly frozen. Milk, on the other hand, not so much.

G'night everybody, and stay safe out there in Internet Land!
Tags: bitchblogging, wisdom
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