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That was odd...

At last! Something truly creative!

At last! Something truly creative!

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WTF?


Kay says:
*tumbles in, humming the james bond theme*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*shoots*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Oh, crap! Sorry!

Kay says:
bah!!! *grabs shoulder* >_O

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
You shouldn't do that to me! I'm very twitchy about secret agents...

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*holsters gun*
Uhh... lemme get a towel for that...
*runs towards laundry room*
*yells from the back*
Any colour preference?

Kay says:
*glares at where you were last standing, mumbles under breath* BLACK WOULD BE LOVELY!

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*yells*
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Kay says:
*screams in pain* I DON'T CARE!!! JUST BRING ME A DAMN TOWEL!!! *twitches*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*exits laundry room, carrying a My Little Pony beach towel*
Sorry, this is the only clean one I could find...

Kay says:
*tries not to laugh cuz it'll cause pain, tries sitting up instead*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Well, I mean, I guess I could go back and search some more. Yeah. I think I'll do that.
*turns to go to the laundry room*

Kay says:
O_O;; ... *grabs your ankle with unhurt arm, trips, drags you back, takes towel and nurses at wound*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Eh? You sure you don't want something different?

Kay says:
will you get me some ice?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
...
Would dry ice count?

Kay says:
uh... just... regular please >_O

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
...
You sure you wouldn't rather have dry ice?

Kay says:
o_o; .... fine, ed.. just... ice...

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Because, you know, I'm out of the ice you make from water...

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
I could run to the store and get some!

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*starts rummaging for wallet*

Kay says:
*sits up* O_o .... *towel drops off* .... no, no it's cool... i'll just die, ed... really, i'm fine *salutes*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
See?! This is why people shouldn't startle me. Here, lemme get something...
*runs to the kitchen*
*Various rummaging noises are heard, and he returns with a full blood-transfusion setup*
What's your blood type?

Kay says:
ah jeeze... idk

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Ooookay, well, uhh... do you know how to work this thing? I picked it up at a flea market for $2.50, and it didn't come with an instruction manual...

Kay says:
wow......

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Did I say flea market? I meant Mad Scientist Meet & Greet.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Dr. Nefario was getting locked up, and he was giving out some real bargains...

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*scratches head*
I mean, I could have gotten the manual for an extra fifty cents, but...

Kay says:
*just....stares*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Well, I spent it on some lemonade.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
And the lemonade wasn't that good, either.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
I was considering complaining, but you really don't do that when the lemonade stand is run by the children of mad scientists.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
It's just not done.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Umm... where was I going with this?
*taps fist against chin, staring off into space*

Kay says:
*slowly gets light headed* ... *faintly* uhh... ed.... could... you.... *raises hand a little* .. possibly.... *eyelids flutter, slumps over*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Get you some lemonade?
Well, I suppose, but I think they're only open on weekends. Hang on, lemme go find out...
*picks up his phone*
You sure you want lemonade?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
I mean, you honestly don't look to be in a condition to enjoy it. In fact, you don't really look to be in a condition one might call healthy. You want me to call a doctor?

Kay says:
*hand twitches*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
I'm sorry, I never learned sign language.

Kay says:
*manages a thumbs up*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Why are you congratulating me on not broadening my horizons? Honestly, that's just the opposite of what you should be doing.

Kay says:
*groans with close to a last breath, turns to thumbs down*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you into changing your opinion. This is America, where free speech and free thought is encouraged. I have no right to interfere with your views, and I'm sorry for forcing my opinions on you.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Can we still be friends?

Kay says:
*chest collapses, arm falls, lies still and silent*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Look here, missy. Just because I say something you find distasteful doesn't mean you should just give me the silent treatment. You have to talk about your feelings, and let me know what I did that offended you. Otherwise, I'll never learn, and we won't have a healthy friendship.
Now, do you want the lemonade, or not?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
...Kay?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*checks your pulse*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Hmm... zero beats per minute....
*dials 911*
Hello? Hey, is it a bad thing when somebody's heart isn't beating? Uhh... massive blood loss, I suppose. Although, I have a nagging suspicion that she died in an attempt to spite me.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
What's that? Stay on the line so you can trace the call?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Okay.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Uh-huh.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Yeah, I know.

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Right. I have the exact same problem. What you do is, you cut up tiny bits of meat, and sneak 'em into a quiche...
*several minutes pass*
I'm sorry, Ma'am, there's somebody battering at my door. If you could hold on just a moment?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*opens door, and paramedics rush in, reviving Kay, the Secret Agent*

Kay says:
*gasps for air, panting to get enough oxygen*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Wow, you seem out of breath, Kay. Want some Lemonade?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*after stitching the wounds, and using the fully-stocked blood transfusion kit, the paramedics leave*
Oh, Kay! Hang on, I have to finish this phone call.
*picks phone back up*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
No, it was just a bunch of paramedics. Hello?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Hello?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*hangs up*
They must have got disconnected.

Kay says:
*thanks the paramedics, looks over bandaged shoulder, props self up on the couch where they lay me, looks over at you* *blink* ....

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Lemonade?

Kay says:
yes.. please

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Would you settle for water?

Kay says:
yes

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Good. Cause I'm out of lemonade, and I didn't want to have to schlep all the way down to Mad Scientist Park to see if those kids were open.
*fetches a glass of water for you*

Kay says:
*waits patiently*

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
*brings back water, sets on table in front of you*
So! How was your day?

Kay says:
oh, nothin' out of the norm... drama with boys...schoolwork, a pepband... got shot... now homework...

Kay says:
you?

Craig X. Retsnimde says:
Same. Except for the homework, and the drama, and the pep band, and the getting shot.
I did shoot someone today, though, so I guess that -could- count as a firearm-related happening. Would you count that as a firearm-related happening?

Kay says:
yea...yea i think so


Comments, please. I want to know favourite parts, and I want to know what wasn't so funny. I need to hone my skills. How else will I write a novel next month?
  • Haha, very nice. :D I enjoyed this! I definitely had a few laughs (out loud!), including the ending. . . Your writing shows much promise. I remember that you once said (or suggested somehow) that you try to achieve a more casual, flowing undertone with your words. . . That is something you've certainly done in this dialogue! :D Yay! Very original thinking too, by the way.

    Keep this up and you'll really produce something good in November.
  • Ed, I love you. -grins- You and your insanity. . . haha. -snigger- Wow. But really, if you get the chance, take him up on it, okay?
  • Haha.

    (Anonymous)
    You are entirely random. It made me laugh. Several times. I think I was on the vurge of suffocation. o_O' Which isn't so good. But... Well, lovely. I was wondering when you were going to run out of things to say. Guess you were just on a roll, there.
    • Re: Haha.

      I could have kept going, but I was just dying to know whether or not it was funny. As it is, it's a miracle I wasn't constantly asking how funny it was.
      • Re: Haha.

        V. funny. I reccomend doing another one with someone random.

        Lay on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again. . .
        Living dead girl.

        Okay. That song is officially stuck. WOOT! I love that song. . . Go Ed!
  • Loook! I comment again because I luff yew. That was...really funny.
  • Good FLOW....

    Yipes!
    This dialogue was great!
    Love the little pony towel detail....had me chuckling.
    I was feeling a much darker, deeper context to the basis of the whole scene, though- the fact that Kay is not seen by Craig, know what I mean? Like there she is DYING and Craig X is being so self absorbed, appearing to be there for her, but he is actually not. I found this underlying tremor of truth throughout compelling and made me want to know more about their relationship, why Kay is not seen by Craig X, but more so, what is it (in his own past or their history) that set the stage for the uneven way in which they relate to each other. Mind you, I was VERY relieved that, by the end of it, after I thought his narcissism caused her to bleed out right in front of him by preventing him from actually meeting her needs when she needed help, she lives afterall, it being in a different time than our current one, in which such things are possible. VERY RELIEVED. VERY GOOD JOB, on many levels. The comic timing worked throughout, there is place, there is visceralness and I felt completely PLUGGED INTO the scene and what was going on between them.
    I felt Kay's anger at not being "seen" (so, of course, not being helped) and I found Craig X to be funny yet entirely self involved at the same time. In the end, though, I came away feeling that Craig X wasn't as selfish as I originally thought. I came away thinking that he actually knew more than I did in the situation, so what I thought was cavalier attention to a crises was his knowledge that she was going to make it through, despite the scare.
    You will be embarking on your NoWriMo journey very soon, my friend, and it looks like a very good day for a lift-off. ZZZZOOOOOooooooooooooooooooM!
    Best wishes from mysterious relative
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