Eddie (edminster) wrote,
Eddie
edminster

Lyle Cardboardboxhands


Hello. My name is Lyle. Lyle Cardboardboxhands. I bet you're thinking, "Gee, you have an unusual last name, Mr. Cardboardboxhands. So, do you have cardboard boxes for hands, or what? I mean seriously, the last time I heard of somebody with the last name that followed the formula of nounbodyparts, it was made into a movie."

Well, to be sure, I don't have cardboard boxes for hands. I have a cardboard box in place of one hand. Which makes my name something of a misnomer, I admit. Sure, it would be easy to change my name to something that did not mislead the general public, probably along the lines of Lyle Righthandreplacedattheelbowusingacardboardboxthathadpreviouslybeenhometoathermos, but that is far, far too long.

Besides, I inquired as to the possibility of such a change with my father, who took the sugestion as an affront to the good name of the Cardboardboxhands family. I get the feeling that if I did go through with the name change, I would be promptly disowned. I suppose that feeling stems from my father shouting this at me during the epic two-hour tirade on the hardships our ancestors faced having such a name during a time when cardboard had yet to be invented.

I feel it necessary to not go into detail regarding the Cardboardboxhands' trials and tribulations, since this is an introduction of myself, and not of the family.

I am fairly young, and have led a rather full and rich life, in spite of my handicap. Relatively full and rich, I mean. I haven't been swimming, I haven't been to a bonfire, nor have I gone on safari. While I wish I coiuld do these things, I am aware that should I try, I will lose a limb. On the other hand, having a prosthetic limb fashioned out of a cardboard box, I am often asked to travel to schools across the country, letting children know that being different is just as special as 'fitting in' and being popular.

I suppose that is really it about me, for now. I shall post a photograph of myself here when I get a chance. Until then, have a nice day.
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