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That was odd...

Lyle Cardboardboxhands

Lyle Cardboardboxhands

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Hello. My name is Lyle. Lyle Cardboardboxhands. I bet you're thinking, "Gee, you have an unusual last name, Mr. Cardboardboxhands. So, do you have cardboard boxes for hands, or what? I mean seriously, the last time I heard of somebody with the last name that followed the formula of nounbodyparts, it was made into a movie."

Well, to be sure, I don't have cardboard boxes for hands. I have a cardboard box in place of one hand. Which makes my name something of a misnomer, I admit. Sure, it would be easy to change my name to something that did not mislead the general public, probably along the lines of Lyle Righthandreplacedattheelbowusingacardboardboxthathadpreviouslybeenhometoathermos, but that is far, far too long.

Besides, I inquired as to the possibility of such a change with my father, who took the sugestion as an affront to the good name of the Cardboardboxhands family. I get the feeling that if I did go through with the name change, I would be promptly disowned. I suppose that feeling stems from my father shouting this at me during the epic two-hour tirade on the hardships our ancestors faced having such a name during a time when cardboard had yet to be invented.

I feel it necessary to not go into detail regarding the Cardboardboxhands' trials and tribulations, since this is an introduction of myself, and not of the family.

I am fairly young, and have led a rather full and rich life, in spite of my handicap. Relatively full and rich, I mean. I haven't been swimming, I haven't been to a bonfire, nor have I gone on safari. While I wish I coiuld do these things, I am aware that should I try, I will lose a limb. On the other hand, having a prosthetic limb fashioned out of a cardboard box, I am often asked to travel to schools across the country, letting children know that being different is just as special as 'fitting in' and being popular.

I suppose that is really it about me, for now. I shall post a photograph of myself here when I get a chance. Until then, have a nice day.
  • Did it used to have a pretty bow on it? I hope it did. Otherwise, it would be a waste of a good cardboard box. Merry Christmas Ed!
  • and a very Merry Christmas to you too! Thanks for the chuckle.
  • Right. No bonfires for you!

    I have been so busy, Nick! Have had no time to blog, read blogs, read or write in weeks! (I become a holiday elf from around September onward, you see) and now, a week before xmas, i find out one of our products has been bestowed with the honor of being chosen for the Grammy gift bags in February (165 gift bags for all the talent and presenters, to be exact). so, the elf syndrome is not yet over as me and my mountain top shop of little elves continue to work around the clock so that your favorite rock starz can fizzle their shazzizzles at the after parties well into the night.
    Now, I can catch up a little on your writing-
    Miss ya!
    -Miss Tery Relative
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