This will be something that I honestly had no faith in achieving. I mean, all of my previous attempts at writing something on a continual basis have failed, so why should I expect anything different from this? Honestly, I think the main thing I have going for me that is letting me do this is the only freedom that comes with being unemployed.
I can write at whatever time something comes to mind. Like, right now it is nearly 09:00, and I am not stressing about heading in to work, but rather writing about the fact that I can and will get this month finished out. I know that this simple freedom comes at an incredibly steep price, but it's something that I can see has an upside this month.
So, I'm not too terribly depressed about my situation right now. That doesn't mean that I am no longer looking for a job, it just means that I am no longer driving myself insane over the fact that I am unemployed. Music is also helpful in achieving this sanity. Right now I'm listening to the music from Chu Chu Rocket, a game that was only released on the Sega Dreamcast and Nintendo Game Boy Advance.
It's quirky, catchy music. The only negative thing I could point out about the songs are how repetitious they are. As to the game itself, it's a bizarre puzzle game wherin you get mice to head to a rocket ship. It's a similar concept to the game Lemmings, only it is really meant for multiplayer. Really, it's something that must be seen to truly explain it.
In-game, the music is not so terribly bad, as it changes every thirty seconds or so. When listening to the soundtrack by itself, with each song going the full length of the track iot gets annoying. That doesn't make it bad music, though. Just repetitive. Urf. I've got some bad heartburn going on, so I'm headed to bed to see if sleep helps.
Crap. It's now 22:19, and I wake up just about an hour ago. Still have heartburn. Not happy about that, but I have nothing to stop it. C'est la vie, and all that. Besides, if that's the worst thing happening right now, I can consider myself pretty blessed. Oh, sweet! I found something else isn't working correctly!
Livejournal, in it's moving, has mucked up my website redirect. Not too terrible, though. And it will most likely work itself out. If it doesn't, I get to learn a new way to handle redirecting domain names from the back-end of everything. Well, I learned a new way, but now I have to wait for it to take effect. So, hopefully RetsnimdeCorp.com will be working just fine within the next day or two.
If not, well... I don't know what I will have to do. There were no adventures today, and I don't think there will be any adventures tonight. So, all of the optimism that I had at the beginning of this post has found it's way to the garbage disposal. I hate not having adventures. It makes life so... boring. Mind you, that's not to say that I want to live a life chock-full of interesting events, I just want to have stuff to write about.
Really, I don't think I want much more than that in life. A series of interesting events, alternating with a day or two of downtime to catch my breath and fully digest what has happened. It's kind of maddening to sit here day after day with nothing to do but be online. I like being outside, and I like exploring.
There's just something about finding a new and interesting place that makes me happy. I don't get to do that often enough. That, and the fact that there are very few interesting places yet to be discovered. I suppose that's why I like videogames that let you explore and find nifty things. The Space stage in Spore is kind of what I want.
I've traveled far and wide in that game. I've set up colonies half a galaxy away from where I started, just so I could say that I did it. I've hopped from star to star, not caring about how low my fuel reserves were getting, because I wanted to catalogue as much as I possibly could. I don't like following the path that the game sets before me, no matter how wide and accomodating it is.
Grah. I'm only halfway done with this post, and I've got about an hour left to finish it. What happened to the ability that I had last night, writing 2400 words in about 100 minutes? It's not here now, and if I didn't have the timestamps from yesterday, I would not believe that I had done such a thing. Seriously, here I am right now, and after about two hours of work, I only have eight hundred words.
This annoys me. I should be able to write consistently. I suppose it doesn't matter, though. I'm in the home stretch of this thing, and I willnot stop writing just because I can't think of anything. It just becomes aggravating though. To know what you are capable of, and not being able to do so. It almost feels like my subconscious is conspiring against me, in an attempt to get me to once again fail.
I don't want that to happen. I've failed enough in my life, and this is something that will let me prove to myself that not everything I put my hand to will end in misery. I will finish out this month, and I will write at least fifty thousand words whilst doing so. I mean, at the end of this post, if I have hit the quota, I will havew written over thirty thousand. That's something that I have not done. Today marks the point where three-fifths of the work is complete.
Three words out of five will have been written. That's not much left to do. Over the halfway point, and closing in on the end. Heck, with that much written, it would almost be a crime to fail at this point. Not gonna happen. I will finish out this month, and next year I will attempt it again, just to show that I can still do it, no matter what.
Wow, I'm writing myself a pep talk. That's... a couple of different kinds of special. Hell, I know exactly why I am doing so, and it's really a shameless attempt to shove my wordcount up. It looks like it's working, but I won't check the total until I have written three more paragraphs. I want to actually see what I can do when I'm not being self-referential.
Well, I can't say that I have a bad life right now. I have friends, and I have family. All that is missing is being gainfully employed. That's something that I think would go quite a ways towards a more stable and happy Nick. Of course, that's simply my theory. Either gainful employment, or free rein to actually try things in the kitchen. Tonight, I think I'm going to go ahead and make tortillas.
I can't recall the exact recipe anymore, so I shall do my best to hit the right combination of flours. I do remember exactly how it is supposed to feel, so I have that going for me. And with only three ingredients, that can't be too terribly difficult to hit, right? I mean, you have the masa, the regular flour, and water. That's it, really.
Well, also the tortilla press. And how hot the pan is supposed to be. I have a press, and I can figure out the temperature needed on the pan. Something that is uncomfortable if you put your hand on it, I know that. But oh, piping hot tortillas are so worth it. With a little butter and salt, they become vehicles of pure delicious. I really can't wait to make those tortillas, now.
I've actually been craving them for a while, but my Mom just reminded me of when I learned how to make them, so I am just in overdrive when it comes to tortilla craving right now. Oh man, I wants me some tortillas. So tasty and warm. Crap. It's 23:11 right now. Maybe I can make them really quiet-like. I hope so, because I am really hungry now.
Double crap. I think I still have to do dishes. Well, that's just a small obstacle in the path of delicious. Dirty dishes can not stop my desire! They shall be cleansed by the righteous fury of one who wants really fresh tortillas! Nothing can stop me, now! TOOOOORTIIIILLAAAAAS! I'm headed to deliciousville, population: Tortilla.
Yeah. I really want tortillas right now. But I have to finish writing this post, so I am slightly annoyed. That, and there are dishes that need to be done. Stupid chores getting in the way of delicious. I shall have my revenge, dishes. Just you wait. You laugh at me now, but soon you will cower under the might of a stack of fresh tortillas. So very fresh, and tasty.
And you, journal entry. How could you stand in the way of me and tortillas? After all we have been through, at that! All the pain, the bloodshed, the happiness, the misery. Now you dare stand between me and tortillas? What made you think this was a worthwhile idea? Who is paying you to do this? Oh! I see you are nearly done with! Very well, I shall let you live for allowing me to pass unhindered. This time.
Well, goodnight everybody, and stay safe out there. I'm off to make tortillas.