This is an accomplishment, to say the least.
I'm not quite certain how to feel about this. On the one hand, I have been succeeding beyond my wildest dreams. On the other hand, this is but a single step on a journey that shall last a lifetime. On the gripping hand, almost all of the time spent writing this could have been spent much more productively.
Let's look at these things as they come.
First, the blatant fact that I will finish this month successfully. There is no longer any doubt. I will finish this month successfully, and probably even sooner than I expected. After all, this is going in it. Which means that I will be several hundred words closer to the end when this is finished.
I know that I haven't written anywhere near as much as I have this month ever before. Heck, we may be approaching everything original that I have written in the past decade. That should tell you something about how very little time I spend writing. I know that this month has outstripped everything from the past three years, though.
The first post for this month is quite clear that I didn't believe in myself. It even says right out my exact prediction. I figured that I would not finish out this month because I was looking at my past. Of all people, I should know that there is always the chance that something will happen no matter what the past performance has been.
Now, as for what comes after this month is finished, who can say. I have a prediction, though. Mind you, it's not based on anything more than a hunch. However, I have a pretty strong feeling that it will come to pass, because I think it can happen. Besides, I need to predict something if I am to keep a nice and serious tone on this piece.
I predict that I will continue posting. This business of getting my thoughts down and having a record truly is cathartic, and I hope and pray that I will have the presence of mind to continue it. Besides, it is definitely helping me develop all of the writing skills that I neglected to pick up throughout the years.
I'm not entirely certain that I regret that, now. Had I taken all of the tools when they were handed me, I do not think I would be able to appreciate exactly how difficult it is to figure out anything beyond the basics. And for anyone who doubts that my writing has evolved over the past four weeks, compare the past couple of posts with the very first posts that I wrote.
It doesn't matter whether you took that to mean my first posts on LJ, or the first posts of this month. Regardless of which you chose, the end result is the same. The later posts have much more content, and impart more information about everything that is actually going on. I hope that they are also more optimistic, but I cannot honestly gauge the emotions of my own posts.
I will keep writing, though. I'm already in far toodeep to back out of it now. I have the writing addiction that has been the downfall of many people would have been otherwise productive members of society. People like Asimov, Heinlein, and Zelazny. I can't just stop writing. I mean, I should have been asleep nearly an hour ago, but here I am typing away.
Oblivious to the fact that I must be up in about seven hours, I sit at the keyboard, waiting for the next sentence to crawl it's way out of my head. Such is the fate ofthose bitten by the writing bug, and so shall I remain for quite some time. They say that there really is no cure short of the grave, but there is always hope that I shall grow out of it.
It's midnight now. The day before this whole thing that I have spent an entire month stressing over is only a day away. I think that this is my cue to head off to sleep. Besides, I can barely keep my eyes open to check my spelling. So, I finish this final intermission with a tired whimper, and resolve to redouble my efforts when I return to writing this evening.
Stay safe out there, everybody.